


The Camping Trip

by lambkind



Series: Who the heck keeps hiring this guy!? [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Camping, Depression, Dog Snuggles, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Gratuitous Anatomical Jargon, Light Angst, Pre-Undertale, Scientist Sans, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lambkind/pseuds/lambkind
Summary: Papyrus and Undyne go camping and Sans finally gets some time to himself, but the whole Underground seems bent on texting him tonight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if anything in this story directly contradicts canon, kick my ass.

It was a rare night off for Sans. Papyrus was out on a "training excursion" with Undyne, so Sans had the house all to himself: the perfect opportunity to lie in bed and do nothing. He thought about going downstairs to watch some TV, but he couldn't even muster up the energy for that. He just lounged on the mattress and watched the tornado of trash gently spinning in the corner of his room.

There was a soft scritching noise at the door. Huh. Sans gave a lazy wave of his hand and the door swung open. There was a streak of white, and then a tiny, fluffy dog hopped into bed next to him. It licked the side of his skull, tail wagging like crazy, then turned in several circles before settling against his side.

"pap's out so you're gonna bug me, huh?" said Sans. The dog yipped in response, and Sans scratched behind its ear. He wasn't really complaining; honestly, it was nice to have something warm to sleep next to.

He heard his phone buzzing from the floor next to the mattress. He reached one arm down and fished around until his fingers bumped into it, then he pulled it up—nope. Not his phone, just an old battery pack for something or other. He threw that back down on the floor and tried again. This time he found his actual phone, and checked to see who'd texted him.

It was a picture of Undyne squatting next to a campfire, with a manic expression on her face. She was holding a huge limp fish in one hand, and jabbing at it with the knife in her other hand.

Papyrus | 7:02pm  
LOOK AT THIS HUGE FISH I CAUGHT.  
UNDYNE CALLED ME A BARBARIAN BUT SHE'S HELPING ME COOK IT.

Sans grinned. Undyne had actually put a lot of effort into planning this trip. She'd called him several times to ask about the kind of food Papyrus ate and how much of a wuss he would be about not showering and whether he ever actually slept. ("Does he even _need_ a sleeping bag?")

Sans | 7:13pm  
looks cool dude. dont let her do all the work

Papyrus | 7:25pm  
SANS! I WOULD NEVER LET HER SHOW ME UP.  
THIS IS CLEARLY ANOTHER COOKING CHALLENGE IN DISGUISE.

Sans laughed to himself. The dynamic duo at work. He hoped they didn't end up burning down the tent.

He got another message, this time from someone else.

Asgore | 7:30pm  
Hello Sans. I hope you are having a pleasant evening. I do not want to bother you on your night off, but I was wondering if you and Alphys have had a chance to look over those reports yet. Please do not trouble yourself about it if you are busy.

Yep, he was reeeaal busy. He was going to pretend he hadn't seen that one. This was why he had read receipts turned off. 

Papyrus | 7:48pm  
CAMPING IS SO MUCH FUN! YOU SHOULD COME WITH US NEXT TIME!

Sans | 7:51pm  
hehe yeah, good idea. can u imagine me camping?

Papyrus | 8:09pm  
VIVIDLY. FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.

Alphys | 8:33pm  
ok

Oh boy. Alphys always started off conversations that way when she was anxious about something. Which was frequently. The next message she sent was a picture of Undyne and Papyrus with their arms thrown around each other's shoulders, both grinning, standing in front of their tent. Wow. That one was really cute, actually. He saved the picture to his phone.

Alphys | 8:33pm  
Undyne just sent this to me  
what does it mean???

Sans | 8:42pm  
what do u mean what does it mean

Alphys | 8:45pm  
i mean JUST LOOK at that juicy physical contact?? O__O  
do you think maybe there's something going on between them? romantically?  
is she trying to send me a message here

Sans | 8:51pm  
im pretty sure hes just like, a little brother to her  
and the message shes trying to send is "hi alphys i want u to know what im up to because were friends"

He was distracted when the dog started to playfully chew on his ulna.

"hey that tickles!" he said, laughing, and jerked his arm out of the dog's mouth. There was a brief tussle as the dog fought to regain possession of the bone, and Sans dropped his phone between the mattress and the wall. He retrieved the phone, then pinned the dog's head under his arm. The dog panted happily.

"dumb mutt," said Sans, but he was unable to keep the affection out of his voice. He had another text from Asgore.

Asgore | 9:00pm  
You are probably busy, I understand. I will check with Alphys instead. Good night, Sans.

Ha. Good luck, your highness. Alphys was procrastinating just as hard as he was. The way Asgore texted reminded Sans a lot of someone else he knew. He hadn't been near the Ruins today, so he hadn't had a chance to visit his friend. He felt guilty. He knew how lonely she was; it was painfully obvious, for all that she tried not to let it show. His mind whirred briefly over all his speculations about her identity.

Alphys | 9:06pm  
ok but did you also notice how the sleeve of her tanktop is like  
kind of slipping off her shoulder  
in kind of a sexy way

Sans | 9:10pm  
look alph when are u gonna just tell her youre in love with her

Alphys | 9:13pm  
wow, way to make assumptions Sans  
also im terrified of the inevitable rejection, so  
never :y

Sans | 9:15pm  
well, if she does reject you...........  
theres plenty of other fish in the sea

Alphys | 9:15pm  
i knew you were going to say that

Sans | 9:16pm  
i know you did. thats part of the joke

Alphys | 9:16pm  
your comedic genius continues to astound me, 10 out of 10 would engage again

Before he could fire off a comeback, Undyne texted him.

Undyne | 9:17pm  
Shit, I forgot the bedtime story!  
I didn't pack any books or anything, what do I do.

Sans | 9:17pm  
just make something up, he'll love it

Undyne | 9:19pm  
Wow, big help as always! NOT.

Sans snorted, and the dog, half-asleep under his arm, made a small sound in response. It sounded like Undyne and Papyrus were having a good time, and however he felt about her otherwise, he was grateful for that. And god he wished he could be there to hear her make up a bedtime story. 

He switched back to Alphys.

Sans | 9:24pm  
please, withhold your applause  
and i mean it yknow, u should just tell her u like her, she seems interested

Alphys | 9:32pm  
ok but  
any interest she may or may not have would be heavily predicated on the Flagrant, Outrageous Lie™ that my life has become  
brb, taking myself out with the trash :p 

Ah, yes. More vague, playful self-deprecation. In a way it was part of the Alphys brand, but she seemed to be laying it on a little thick lately. Sans sighed heavily. He didn't know what was going on with her, but she needed… something. A better friend. She needed someone to whip her ass into shape and he just didn't have the energy to play life coach right now.

 _Guess I'm letting everyone down today_ , he thought, with a wry smile. He threw his phone back down on the floor and ran a hand over his face.


End file.
